Being Realistic

Hi, readers! For today’s blog post, I wanted to talk about something that I think a lot of us struggle with, especially as young adults. It’s something that has taken me a while to understand, although I wasn’t going out of my way to fulfill this unnecessary “obligation”.

What I’m talking about is the desperate need to try and please people, or to try and be a person that everyone likes. I’ve noticed this observation a lot more with my job. Being a barista, it’s your job to not only make great coffee, but also to provide excellent customer service. Now, I’ve been lucky enough to call a lot of my regular customers friends, because I click with them so easily (let’s hear it for all the wwu students!)

But realistically, not everyone is going to be your friend. It sounds simple enough, but during the times where I wouldn’t click with a customer, I would take it personally. It’s not really anything I did, we just weren’t built to have everlasting conversations. You can’t expect it to be rainbows and sunshine with each person you interact with.

The one thing that you should always expect of yourself is to always be kind, even when it’s hard. No one can really have any authority to talk down on you if you’re always kind to them. So you guys don’t sync, so what? That doesn’t mean you and said person can’t be kind to one another. Sounds super cliche, but if you’ve been through this then you know what I’m talking about.

I think I’m a little spoiled with great interaction. Really, I am. I think that’s why I would take it personally when I wouldn’t have any type of connection with someone.

Every week when I see those friendly faces, our faces and spirits just kind of light up. I make them their coffee, they tell me about their day, how school is, why work sucks, etc. We become old friends catching up over coffee and my little romantic heart just can’t take it.

I don’t think I’ve ever admired a group of peers more than I do with these students. They’re so inspiring and hard working, the future teachers of America. With all the stories they tell me, the ups an downs, I’m in awe that they continue to push through all the obstacles they overcome, because even I would need a break from some of the things they tell me.

Anyways, back to our regular scheduled programming. Not everyone is going to be your biggest fan, and you need to expect that (don’t be selfish. just kidding lol). Keep it short, sweet and kind. If I’m kind to someone and give them great coffee, they’ll keep coming back.

I think we live in a time where so many strong emotions are flooding the world, so much so that we don’t know what to do with all of these feelings. Unfairly, we become shunned because of lifestyle choices or other irrelevant choices. We suffer from anxiety, we have depression, and all we want is to feel loved and included.

If more people did some self reflecting I think people would be sweeter. We all have our own battles we’re going through, publicly or not. Bringing someone down will not lift you up. Everyone goes through hardships differently, but a warm smile never fails.

Along with my barista experience, I’ve also noticed this longing to be liked because of blogging. I never want to be the person who obsesses over how many likes I get it, etc. Because at the end of the day, none of that matters. At the end of our lives, we’re all buried the same.

Technically, if I want to build my name and my blog, I need to keep track of how well my posts are performing. But sometimes, it becomes this unhealthy obsession with posting what people like, and being what people like. I’ll start to get anxious over the fact and then Kolani will just remind me that if I’m only doing it to get likes then to stop doing it. If I genuinely love doing what I’m doing, then everything else will follow.

I think that’s another thing to keep in mind. If you’re spreading love and kindness, then you’ll attract the right people. Wouldn’t you really only want to associate yourself with like minded people?

Just remember, not everyone is going to be your friend, but not everyone matters. Just keep doing you, and live happy.

This has been a chloscall. Until next time, Chloe.

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